Sometimes when translating information from one source to the next, the meaning gets lost, emotion loses value, passion becomes apathy.
Somber
Monday, May 7, 2007
In between Atlanta and Birmingham we played a few different albums. Marie wanted to hear some Smiths (which Rachel happily played) and I wanted to play Return of Saturn by No Doubt. I got to about track 6 or 7 before Ian and Ashlie called me so I missed the last half, but that's okay. The reason I bring it up is because one of Gwen's lyrics popped into my head on the way home from work tonight. I've listened to this album hundreds of times, but this line stood out to me for some strange reason this time.
If you bore me then I'm comfortable/if you interest me I'm scared.
I never really thought about it, but that is how I feel. Maybe it's because I'd never had to deal with the first half of that line before my last girlfriend (sorry if you ever read this, MG) but every now and then I'll meet a girl that really intrigues me and that's when I get myself into trouble by doing lots of thinking about her and trying to figure her out. And then of course I fall in love and screw up my whole life.
I did some talking (or trying to talk) to Ian today about my situation. I fell in love with a girl about a year and a half ago and we dated for about six months. It was hard doing the long distance thing, so we decided to cool it a little bit and I went a year without seeing her. I saw her again last weekend and it really revealed a lot of things to me. Things I already knew, but finally became blatantly obvious to me.
1.) I love her still.
2.) I am not over her yet.
3.) I may never be over her.
This is kind of hypocritical since a few blogs ago I said that my feelings for her wouldn't prevent me from being with anyone else, but I'm starting to realize deep down I don't want to be with anyone else.
I could go into gushy details and this and that, but I'll spare you. She makes me a better person and most of all she makes me happy to be alive every second I'm with her. When we lay in the same bed I don't want to sleep because that will make time pass too quickly and then she'll be gone.
I don't want her to be gone. I want to be with her. Always and forever.
I think that is the first time I seriously realized it, sincerely.
If you bore me then I'm comfortable/if you interest me I'm scared.
I never really thought about it, but that is how I feel. Maybe it's because I'd never had to deal with the first half of that line before my last girlfriend (sorry if you ever read this, MG) but every now and then I'll meet a girl that really intrigues me and that's when I get myself into trouble by doing lots of thinking about her and trying to figure her out. And then of course I fall in love and screw up my whole life.
I did some talking (or trying to talk) to Ian today about my situation. I fell in love with a girl about a year and a half ago and we dated for about six months. It was hard doing the long distance thing, so we decided to cool it a little bit and I went a year without seeing her. I saw her again last weekend and it really revealed a lot of things to me. Things I already knew, but finally became blatantly obvious to me.
1.) I love her still.
2.) I am not over her yet.
3.) I may never be over her.
This is kind of hypocritical since a few blogs ago I said that my feelings for her wouldn't prevent me from being with anyone else, but I'm starting to realize deep down I don't want to be with anyone else.
I could go into gushy details and this and that, but I'll spare you. She makes me a better person and most of all she makes me happy to be alive every second I'm with her. When we lay in the same bed I don't want to sleep because that will make time pass too quickly and then she'll be gone.
I don't want her to be gone. I want to be with her. Always and forever.
I think that is the first time I seriously realized it, sincerely.
Posted by K. Hanley
